As Long as We Get There
by geekinthepink23
Summary: Chris/Eijun one-shot.


**WARNINGS: **May be considered super cheesy to the point of pointlessness. Also not proofread. And waaay too long. _So, if you still choose to read this, I'm telling you: you__ have been warned._

* * *

**As Long as We Get There**

_by: geekinthepink23_

**I. The One about First Impressions**  
_Takigawa Chris_

He was the stubborn rookie pitcher who never failed to give people a piece his mind, and I was the strict but silent catcher who had to train him.

Truthfully, I hated Eijun's guts. He was stupid, tactless and downright insufferable. And although I knew that Eijun had great potential and that he was a hard worker, all his good points were overshadowed by his lack of respect and discipline. I didn't want to feed his ever growing ego, so I just threw him harsh insults like I did every other pitcher I had the pleasure of working with.

It was getting to him, as expected. He started criticizing me back, just like how the other pitchers did. He talked about how I leave training earlier than others, and how I "gave up", and how he didn't want to be like me. It stung a little bit, but I wasn't going to let him know. I knew a part of what he said was true; no one should ever want to be like me, so I told him that. And for the first time, Eijun was at a loss for words.

I was pretty sure our battery was going to end before it even began, but then something happened: I was found out.

I didn't know what to feel when I saw Eijun cry as he bowed down and asked me to teach him baseball. Maybe I should have been angry at Rei-san for bringing Eijun to my physical therapy training, or even ashamed that I was found out right after acting all high and mighty. But I didn't. Instead, I felt kind of... _glad_.

At that time, I didn't understand why I felt that surge of happiness. But now I know that I felt the way I did because somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew that I needed him just as much as he needed me.

**II. The One Who Fell in L****ove First**

_Sawamura Eijun_

He was sort of amazing, and because I knew that, I was all out of sorts.

I didn't understand what I was feeling, or why. But ever since I had this new found respect for Chris, things became strange.

Suddenly, I didn't mind how Miyuki paid more attention to Furuya. I knew that it was him I initially wanted to form a battery with, and who came to Seido for. But after I started seeing Chris in a new light, I realized that he was as just as amazing as Miyuki, if not more.

But it was different, how I admired Chris and how I admired Miyuki.

I still felt the need to impress Miyuki as much as Chris, but I didn't feel uncomfortable when Miyuki and I were beside each other. Nor did my heart start to beat erratically when he started to touch me in awkward places when trying to fix my pitching form. Only Chris made me feel that way, and I didn't know why.

So I confided in the one person who'd never judge me, tease me, or tell on me.

I told Harucchi of my dilemma. And when I explained everything I felt, he stared at me for a good minute. He didn't say anything and instead just looked at me. It was very uncomfortable, so after a while I finally cracked. I urged him to say something.

"Eijun-kun," Harucchi started, looking at me with eyes filled with concern. He paused for a while, as if struggling to find the words to say. "I think you like Chris-senpai."

"I know that," I replied. "I like you too Haruichi. And Kuramochi-senpai, Masuko-senpai, and maybe even Miyuk—"

"I didn't mean that kind of like," Haruichi said, almost snappishly. "I mean _like_, like."

Oh.

_Oh_.

**III. The One before He Found out****  
**_Takigawa Chris_

Eijun was avoiding me.

It was so obvious; it would've been funny if it weren't so worrying.

He stopped bugging me to play catch with him. He didn't complain about his training menus anymore. And whenever I tried to approach him, he'd deliberately surround himself with other people just to avoid confrontation. At first, I thought that maybe it was all in my head. Maybe he was just stressed and was having a hard time balancing training and schoolwork that he didn't have time to complain or bug me.

But my initial assumption proved to be wrong after a few days.

I knew Eijun wasn't one for subtlety, and sometimes that was a good thing. But god, if he was really trying to avoid me, he didn't have to be so _in-your-face_ about it.

It wasn't just the lack of attention anymore. This time, he would _literally_ run away from me. One moment he's here, the next he's there. I couldn't get a hold of him. If he wasn't training, he was jogging. And if he wasn't jogging, he'd snatch the new training menu from my hands and run off saying, "I'll get right on it!"

He didn't have a problem with school or training. He had a problem with me. And I didn't know why.

It was all very, very frustrating. So I decided that I wanted to put an end to his idiotic behavior. And to do that, I had to confront him.

The timing was perfect. He was already alone on the field, doing his routine jogging exercise after training. There was no way could avoid me. But hell did he try.

He was running away from me again, so I did what I had to: I ran after him. It was annoying, the kid was pretty fast. We already circled the field twice and I still couldn't catch up to him. So, in the third round, I thought of a brilliant idea.

I put my right foot over my left and purposely tripped myself. Yes, it was an act of desperation, but what else was I suppose to do? It got Eijun's attention and he started jogging back to me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, feeling bitter that I had to trip myself for him to approach me.

As soon as he offered his hand, I pulled him to the ground with me. There was a loud thump as he landed on his butt. He yelled at me, asking what the hell that was for. And before I could think straight, I hit him on the head, harder than intended.

I chastised him, and demanded to tell me why he was ignoring me for the past week. He feigned innocence and denied the obvious. I replied saying he was a bad liar. He tried to glare at me, but when our eyes met, he averted his guiltily. I waited for a while, then I realized he had no intention of answering me back. I urged him again, but he just bit his lip in defiance. I told him, with finality in my voice, that I was going to ask one last time. Silence continued to fill the air.

And so finally, I've had it.

I've done all I can, even more than I was supposed to. I offered a lending hand, but he refused it. If the stubborn little brat didn't want to talk to me, fine. It's okay. I don't care, especially if he doesn't either.

Or at least, that's what I said to myself again and again after I stood up and walked away.

**IV. The One Under 20 Seconds****  
**_Sawamura Eijun_

It could have been one of my favorite memories of all time, how I confessed to Chris. It could have, if the circumstances were different, and the romance outweighed the awkwardness of it all. But it didn't.

It was kind of a moment too late. After Chris confronted me and I refused to tell him how I felt, I immediately felt the need to tell him how I felt. It was stupid, _I_ was stupid. But better late than never, right?

Right.

Two days after the unsuccessful confrontation, Haruichi and I talked. He gave me tips on batting and how to catch a pop fly, but I was only half-listening because I was distracted by the conversation the ace was having with a certain catcher beside us in the bullpen.

Tanba invited Chris to sleep over in his dorm since (for some reason that was not mentioned) the latter was going to be alone that night. I felt myself tense, I didn't know why the idea of Chris sleeping in the same room as his best friend irritated me.

Oh wait. I did.

I was jealous. Because I _like_ him.

To my relief, Chris shook his head and declined. He said that he was sure he was going to be fine with one night of solitude. Not that he didn't like his roommates, but he was actually glad that he had a night wherein he wasn't going to be disturbed.

One night. No roommates. No disturbances.

There it was, the perfect opportunity for me to confess. I'd be damned if I didn't take it. So I did.

An hour after dinner, I paced back and forth from my dorm building to his until my feet finally found its way to his doorstep. I almost knocked, but then I realized that I haven't actually thought about what to say, since my mind was already occupied with the debate on whether or not I should be doing this. I mean, getting rejected would probably hurt, but what if he starts hating me for this? What if he never speaks to me again? What if—

_Breathe, Eijun.__  
_  
It's okay. The less prepared I am, the more truthful my confession will be. And I would never be able to move on if I just continue ignoring him for the rest of my life. I was still scared. Terrified, actually. Then I remembered this quote I once read, and I realized that once I open the door—his door—there was no going back. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

"It only takes twenty seconds of insane courage to change your life," I told myself.

Wait, did that mean I only had twenty seconds to confess? _Damn_. Well, it's now or never.

I swung the door open and stepped foot into the room without permission.

"EIJ—?!"

I didn't let him finish. "Chris-senpai!" I yelled. I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself and remember the things I wanted to say from the start. Twenty seconds.

Here goes nothing. Or, you know, _everything_.  
_  
__20__  
_  
"I'm sorry about avoiding you, it really wasn't my intention!" I started. Okay, good opening.

"EIJUN, I—"

_19_

"Wait, I'm not done yet!" I noticed how his voice seemed frantic, but I was too busy trying to find the right words to wonder why. I opened my eyes and stared at my hands. Crap, what was I supposed to say next?

_17__  
__16_

"I-I didn't know why I did it. Because when I talked to Harucchi, it all clicked. Why I felt what I feel... F-for you."

He didn't try to interrupt me anymore, so I just continued.

_14_

"I didn't want to admit it at first. I mean, it's crazy right?"

_13_

"I didn't understand why every time I saw you I felt like I wanted to run away and hide under a table. And every time you got too close for comfort, my heart started beating fast. Like, really, incredibly fast. It was so overwhelming, but Harucchi figured it out!"

"Eijun, I—" his voice wasn't high and panicky anymore. Instead it was low and careful.

_9_

But I still cut him off because, "I like you Chris-senpai. I really, really like you."

_8_

I started talking faster. "I don't know why I can't tell you that! I mean—"

"Eijun!"

"I like you, I like you, I like you! It's not that hard to say. I don't understand—"

"Damn it, Eijun! Listen to me!"

"—why I can't say it!"

"You already said it, idiot!"

_4__  
__3__  
_  
I blinked, confused. "Said what?"

"You already said you like me... five times."

_2__  
__1__  
_  
"Oh."

Guess it did only take twenty seconds.

I let out a big exhale from the amount of things I said under the time limit. I finally told him. He now knew how I felt. But wait...

Something about this situation felt iffy, though. Chris hasn't said anything yet.

When I looked up to finally meet the eyes of the person in front of me, I understood why. I was too busy spilling my heart out that I didn't notice a very, _very_ crucial detail in this scenario.

I felt myself pale as mix of embarrassment and something else I couldn't decipher seeped under my skin.

Takigawa Chris. Butt naked. In front of me.

_Kill me now_.

"I see you've finally noticed," Chris said in a nonchalant manner, and then he sighed in exasperation. "I can't believe you didn't notice, you're such an idiot."

I didn't bother rebuking that. I still couldn't process anything. Why—how did I not notice? He's not even trying to cover himself up!

"Stop staring."

"I'm not!" I said almost immediately. Then I realized that I was. I tried to look somewhere and said, "Sorry."

Ten excruciatingly slow seconds followed until,

"Um, Eijun..." Chris started. I looked at him hopefully, a little bit glad that he was still able to speak to me. Then, he averted his eyes to the lower region of my body, gesturing for me to follow his eyes. Oh god please no. I reluctantly looked and realized that there was a very noticeable bulge on my pants.

Damn it all. What did I expect? The senpai that I am supposedly in love with was in front of me _stark naked_. Who wouldn't get turned on? But seriously, this is so freaking insane. Things could not possibly get more embarrassing than this...

Is what I thought.

I wanted to run away. And by all means was I about to, until I saw that Chris and I had a similar dilemma. His, um, length was sticking out, and he still didn't bother to cover himself up. At all. What the freaking hell. Could he possibly be turned on by all this?

"To answer your question, yes. I am." Crap, I asked that question out loud.

Well, I did want to straighten things out with Chris.

But I had never thought the world would grant my request this way.

**V. The One Who Was No Match for Him**_  
__Takigawa Chris_

Yuki Tetsuya is an amazing man; determined, responsible and well-rounded is who he is, and I've always considered myself lucky to be his friend and teammate.

But not this time.

Tetsu was all Eijun ever talked about ever since our game against Kaido a week ago. Boy, did our captain bring on his _A-_game that day. Not once was he struck out, and to put a cherry on top of the ice cream that was his 7 RBIs, he managed a walk-off _grandslam. _

Granted, everyone in school was talking about him, so it's not just Eijun, but really. _Really_. Hearing my boyfriend gushing about some other guy isn't really pleasant to my ears.

"I still can't believe he was able to hit a grandslam," Eijun said. I rolled my eyes at him, miffed. I was sure I was talking about something else entirely unrelated to baseball, and he just had to bring it up. Again.

For the past three months we've been dating, we've made it a habit to go to the baseball team's supply room and spend time with each other before curfew. So you can't really blame me for being annoyed at how we've been spending an hour and a half talking about how awesome Tetsu is every day for the past week.

"I get it, he's amazing." I waved dismissively. "Moving on…"

_Oh_ but we did not move on.

We ended up talking about him all night.

Again.

But in all honesty, though it's very annoying how everything that comes out of his mouth is _Tetsu this, Tetsu that_, I couldn't actually take it against him. His eyes were wide and sparkling with hope whenever he thought of our captain, and I couldn't help but be endeared seeing him like that.

But after a couple days, things got out of hand and I lost it.

According to Kanemaru, Eijun's batchmate and my roommate, he had been bugging our captain to bat with him. Tetsu, being busy, declined. But everyone knows just how persistent Eijun is, so it wasn't surprising to hear that he wasn't deterred by the slightest. He kept on insisting that he was going to be fourth at bat someday if Tetsu helped him.

_Right._

So, how did I lose my temper, you ask?

It was kind of petty, but after practice, on my way to Rei-san's office, I saw something that got me really riled up, though at first I couldn't figure out why.

Eijun was on his knees. "Captain, I know there's less that a 1% chance of me being a great batter like you."

"_Maybe it's a waste of time for you to practice with someone like me!"_

"But if you could just please…"

"_But I have an impossible request…"_

"Please teach me how to bat!"

"_Please… please teach me baseball!"_

Emotions that I never knew I could produce surfaced and I didn't know how to handle it. Before I knew it, I grabbed Eijun by the wrist and excused us from Tetsu. He didn't seem to mind.

"W-what are you doing?!" Eijun said as he tried to swing his arm out of my grasp. "Captain was about to teach me how to bat!"

"Shut up," I said a little harsher than intended. Eijun stayed quiet. Once we were at an isolated corner near the dorms, I let go out his hand.

"What's wrong, Chris-senpai?" Eijun asked in a worried tone.

"You," I seethed. "You're what's wrong. Stop bothering Tetsu already."

"But I—"

"I'm serious." I said with finality. I started walking away, but I came back and continued. "Do you just kneel for anyone and everyone?"

"Huh?"

"You were on your knees when you asked me to teach you baseball." Eijun nodded, still not getting the idea. "And you did it again for Tetsu when you asked him to teach you how to bat."

Eijun came to the realization as his mouth formed into an _'o'. _I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh yeah."

"_Oh yeah," _I mimicked. God, I feel so childish right now, but he's just so freaking annoying.

Eijun's eyebrows quirked. "Are you, uh, jealous perhaps?"

I only glared at him harder, refusing to dignify his question with a response.

And before he could press on, I started walking away from him. "Hey wait, Chris-senpai!" I ignored him. "Chris-senpai!" I continued pacing. "Wait!"

And before I knew it, I felt something heavy latch on to my back. "What the hell are you doing?"

He wrapped his arms around my neck, and his legs around my waist. "I'm sorry, Chris-senpai," he said in a soft tone. "I didn't mean to. That moment in the hospital is a precious memory, right?" I refuse to answer that. "I'm sorry."

I tilted my head away from his so that he wouldn't see my cheeks flush. "Yeah yeah," I said dismissively. "Get off me already."

"Oh yeah!" By the tone of his voice, I could imagine him grinning. "This could be our new thing!"

"What?"

"Like, you know…" I don't. "Clinging on to you."

"No."

"I'm serious!" I rolled my eyes. "And you know what else?"

"What?"

Eijun untangled himself from my back and faced me. He raised his hand and grinned at me cheekily. "I solemnly swear that I will only do that to you and no one else. Not even captain."

And with that, I was finished.

I don't even know why I _try _to argue when I know that I'm no match for him.

**VI. The One Who Slept Over**  
_Sawamura Eijun_

I knocked on the door, hoping that at least one of them was still awake.

"Eijun?" I was momentarily dazed when Chris yawned as he opened the door. His hair, which was usually gelled, was now flat on his forehead. And because of it, he actually looked like a regular high schooler. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

I grinned at him awkwardly. "Um…"

"_Eijun!" Masuko shrieked as he shakily climbed the ladder to Kuramochi's bed. "Holy mother freakin—!"_

"_Get that thing out of here!" Kuramochi shouted at me as he tried to shove me out of his bed._

"_Why me?!" I shouted back. _

_All three of us were clinging onto our pillows as if they were our lifeline. _

"_There it is!" The third year pointed at the black thing moving swiftly around our room. _

"_It's going to eat us!" Kuramochi said, stomping his feet shakily on the bed._

_If anyone is wondering why there are three men screaming their lungs out as if they're going to die, it is because there is a rat. A really big rat. __And if you think this is some kind of overreaction to something petty, you're wrong. This rat is big enough to make even the toughest men cower, I tell you._

"_We have to get out of here," I said suggestively then looked at the second year beside me. "Kuramochi-senpai!"_

"_What? Why me?!"_

"_Because you're the fastest one!" Masuko said. "If it were me or Sawamura-chan, we'd get eaten by the time we reach the door!"_

_Kuramochi seemed to have taken that as a compliment because he nodded his head reluctantly and said, "Fine."_

"_Okay," I gave Kuramochi a thankful look. "So once Kuramochi-senpai opens the door, Masuko-senpai and I will run as fast as we can."_

_Once the plan was in motion, all three of us sped to the door, shouting "_We're going to dieee!" _and _"Hoooooly crap, let's go, let's go, let's gooo!"

_Of course, all was said in the most masculine way (not really)._

_Once we were safe and secure in the comfort of our hallway, Kuramochi asked, "Where are we going to sleep now?"_

"_Guess it's time to crash at Miyuki's again," Masuko said._

"_Then I'm going to sleep in Kawakami's, I guess. How about you, Sawamura?"_

"_Uh…" Haruichi and Ryo-san were off to visit their parents this week, and Furuya would never open his door for me in this late hour. "I guess I'll stay with Kanemaru."_

"So… yeah." I shrugged. "Where's Kanemaru?"

Chris pushed the door a little to reveal an already sleeping Kanemaru in the bottom bunk bed. "You're lucky I get to have the single."

_Wait, _so we're going to sleep together? Oh my god I am not ready for this level of intimacy_._

… Is what a girl would say. But I'm not a girl. _Psh_.

"Come in," he said in a low whisper. I ignored the rapid beating of my chest and did what was told. The door closed behind me and I could barely see much because the lights were still turned off, so I started following the moving shadow figure that was Chris.

After we found our way to his bed, he slid to the left side and tapped on the space beside him. "Here," he said in a hushed tone.

I nodded and followed. "Good night, senpai."

"Goodnight," he replied as he turned to face the wall.

But I couldn't sleep, so after what seemed like a long time to me, I spoke again. "Chris-senpai, are you still awake?"

"It's only been a couple minutes, Eijun," he said.

Oh. "Sorry."

After awhile though, Chris spoke. "I can't believe you have a rat in your room. It's probably because of all the pudding you guys eat."

"Yeah," I nodded. "But Kuramochi-senpai is the only one who leaves the containers in our room."

"Right."

"It's true," I said as I adjusted myself so that I was facing his back, I rested my head on his back (which I now realize is really, really muscular) and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"What are you doing?"

"Clinging on to you," I said nonchalantly. "It's our thing."

"Careful," he said, his voice almost teasing. "Something awkward might happen."

I remembered the time I confessed and quickly detached myself. "Not funny, Chris-senpai."

I heard a muffled chuckle. "Yeah, yeah. Go to sleep, Eijun."

"Okay," I said. "Good night, senpai."

"Good night."

And before I could stop myself, I said in a barely audible voice, "I love you."

I heard no reply.

That night, I stayed up until three am in the morning praying to God he didn't hear me.

**VII. The One About Graduation  
**_Takigawa Chris_

Yes, I did hear him say "I love you" the night he slept over, and I am fully aware that not saying it when we've already dated for 6 months is kind of a dick move. I don't know why I didn't say it, because I feel the same way. At least I think I do. But…

Graduation is nearing, and I couldn't help but wondering how long this relationship will last after I'm gone. I don't want to get too attached knowing that we'll be over soon before long. I did accept his confession knowing all of this, but I just want to make sure this relationship is going to be worth it, you know?

So after a week of having these unsettling feelings, I just knew that I had to talk to him about it.

"Hi senpai," Eijun said as he closed the door. "Sorry I'm late, Kuramochi-senpai made me run some errands and I couldn't say no."

"It's okay," I said. "Oh, and don't forget to turn the lights off."

He nodded and followed. We had this thing wherein the first person who comes in turns the light on to indicate that he's there, and then when the second person follows, he turns off the lights so that no one will bother to look inside the supply room.

Once Eijun was able to sit comfortably beside me, I spoke. "Listen, Eijun, I have to talk to you about something."

Eijun's eyes widened in panic. He covered his ears with his hand and closed his eyes. "_Lalalalala, _I won't listen to you," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Wha—why?" I asked loudly, trying to get through him. "Eijun!"

"No!" he said defiantly. "You're going to break up with me, right? _I don't want to hear it!"_

"What?" I asked, surprised. "I'm not!"

He shifted his face to me and looked at me seriously, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. He dropped his hands from his ears and said, "Oh," as if the situation has been resolved.

"Why would you think that?"

He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. "Nevermind that. What did you want to talk about?"

I looked at him quizzically but let the subject drop. "I wanted to talk to you about graduation…"

"Okay?" He said, prompting me to continue.

"I'm graduating in about three and a half months." He nodded. "And I was thinking, about our relationship…"

"So you _are_ breaking up with me!" He said accusingly.

"I'm not!" Then I thought about it. "Well, actually…"

"_Ahah!"_

"_Listen to me_," I said, agitated. Eijun frowned and crossed his arms, but did as was told. When he didn't speak, I took that as a sign to continue. "I'm going to graduate soon, and when that happens, you and I talking like this," I gestured in the space between us, "won't happen often."

He nodded.

"I'll be doing lots of therapy and try outs for professional teams." He nodded again. "And you'll be busy with training."

"And?"

"I'm just not sure if we'll have time for each other after I graduate," I finished.

He waited for a while, unsure if I had anything more to say. "That's it?"

That's it? _That's it? _This has been stressing me out more about a while now, and all he has to say is _that's it?_

He seemed to notice my distress and spoke again. "What I mean is—nevermind. About you graduating, I just want to say that my lo—how I feel about you, I mean—won't change just because I won't get to see you as often."

I sighed. "Easy for you to say it now, but you don't know how a long distance relationship works, Eijun. I've seen people try and fail."

Eijun's eyes narrowed at me. "You're just assuming that I'm as fickle as them!"

"No I'm not," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. "It's not just you, Eijun, it's me too."

He seemed to have been taken aback with what I said. "So you're saying that you want to be with someone else?"

I shook my head profusely. "I don't, okay? Calm down."

"Then what is it?" He asked his tone more sad than annoyed. "I don't get it, senpai."

I thought for awhile, trying to find the proper words to say. "Okay, imagine this: for now, we're able to see and talk to each other every day. But after that, we'll only get to text each other a couple times a day, and see each other once a month. And that's if we're lucky." I paused. "Do you understand the major adjustments we'd need to make after a few months?"

He nodded.

"Because of that, we'll grow apart. We'll have separate lives and we won't understand each other anymore. And after that, even if we _try _to talk to each other, we just won't feel it anymore because the way we feel about each other just… faded."

Well, at least that's what I've seen from other couples.

Since he hasn't reacted violently, I assumed he finally understood my point. "You're right," he said.

"What?" Okay, so I get that he understood, but it wasn't necessary for him to agree.

"You're right," he repeated. "I really could see that happening."

I frowned. "So I guess—"

"But something entirely different could happen too."

I was thrown off by his grin. "What?"

"Well, you're graduating, and we'll be busy. I get that," he started. "But even though… Even if it's just a couple of texts a day, or a short meeting every month. Even then."

He sounded so determined, I couldn't interject.

"It just means that every moment with you will be more special, because it doesn't happen often. But that's okay. If it's for the person I l-love," he blushed, "I think I could handle it."

I couldn't help but smile at what he said. Leave it to him to be all positive and tenacious about everything. But it's okay. If he "could handle it", then so could I.

I pulled him in and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Eijun blushed. "W-what was that for?"

_Because you told me you love me_, I wanted to say.

And I wanted to say it back.

But then, "It's five minutes before curfew."

Damn it, that's not what I wanted to say.

**VIII. The One When They Came Clean****  
**_Miyuki __Kazuya_

Okay, I'm not usually what you call a _truant_, but I just needed a break sometimes. Training takes too much out of me, and I knew if I ever complained, no one would ever live it down. So I just, you know, skipped PE and Home Ec classes alternately to rest. No one can say that I'm letting my grades drop, because I _do_ get good grades. It's not like I'm stupid or irresponsible, in fact, I'd say I'm pretty smart and good at managing my time.

But that's not the point.

The point is: classes have not yet ended, and while I was by the steps of the fire exit, lying down on the platform connecting one staircase to the other, ready to fall asleep, there were two idiots making a ruckus upstairs. I thought it was just a pair of lovebirds who are just skipping classes to meet up and make out, based on their muffled laughs and incessant giggles. But although I was annoyed by the constant mumbling, I didn't bother making the effort of removing the team's statistical record book I used to block the sunlight from my face and get up just to make them shut up. Nope, I was far too lazy and tired for that.

So I just, you know, tried to sleep anyways. Until I realized there was something off with the two upstairs.

"This is so dangerous; I can't believe we're doing this!" I heard the guy say breathily. Wait... he sounds annoyingly familiar. Or, you know, annoying _and_ familiar. "We might get caught!"

Holy crap. That's Sawamura. He has a girlfriend?! That can't be right; I heard he had a girl waiting on him back home. _Jeez_. That guy, how can he have possibly made two girls fall for him? Such injustice must be corrected.

"Quiet!" That's weird, the girl's voice sounded incredibly low-even lower than Sawamura's. Crap, _wait_, I know that voice too... "Someone might hear."

Oh god. That's not even a girl, that's...

No way.

Impossible.

I cautiously put the stack of papers off my face, careful not to make any noise, and then stood up. I faced Sawamura, not bothering to hide myself from him.

He froze as his eyes widened in shock. I found myself doing the same.

"Eijun?" asked the taller one, who is _obviously _not a girl, in a worried tone. The unsub's back was facing me, so I didn't know who he was. But I _know _him. His voice, at least…

"Miyuki…" Sawamura said shakily, our eyes unable to break off the horrific gaze.

"What?" The other guy's hands, which I realize were on Eijun's cheeks, dropped. He seemed to get the idea when he followed Sawamura's eyes that trailed back to me.

_Shit._

"C-Chris-senpai."

* * *

Genius Miyuki does it again.

Did I just call myself a genius? _Oh yeah, _I did. Why? Well, it has been ten days since I've found out that 1.) Sawamura is gay, 2.) Chris-senpai is gay, and 3.) Sawamura and Chris-senpai are gay _together_. And once the newfound information has settled in my brain (it took quite some time), I decided to make use of it.

How, you ask? Well…

I'm kind of blackmailing them into doing whatever I want, whenever I want them to.

I'm not the devil's spawn, contrary to what Sawamura says. I mean, sure, I'm making them do stuff against their will. But I'm not a sadist. Really, I'm not. I've only gone as far as making Chris play catch with Furuya when Sawamura was seeking his attention. I just really enjoy seeing Sawamura get worked up.

Oh, maybe I should rethink the sadist thing.

Well, anyways, blackmailing them is so much fun that I might not even feel guilty anymore. Okay, maybe I still do, but it's just so… _convenient_. I haven't slept for a full eight hours for the past two weeks because the visits to my dorm room have become sort of a ritual, so tonight I told Sawamura to play shogi with the captain while I sleep in Kawakami's spare bed in his room.

_Ah, _life is good.

I was already off to Kawakami's, pillow at hand, until I saw someone sketchy at the corner of the building.

Chris. With Sawamura. Again.

_Really?_

Am I omniscient when it comes to them or something?

Oh well. At least they're not doing anything, you know, _weird._

"Are you sure you want to keep this up?" I heard Chris say. I instinctively hid myself behind a post. They seemed to have not noticed because Chris continued. "I mean, I can handle Miyuki. Just not sure if you can."

Sawamura's eyes narrowed. "Of course I can! It's just Miyuki."

I rolled my eyes at the remark.

"That's not what I meant," Chris said. "I'm already graduating, so I can cope with him for a couple of months. But he's your catcher and you have another year with him."

"Well, yeah, but…"

"I don't think you guys should be on bad terms because of this."

"Chris-senpai, the jerk is _blackmailing _us."

I felt myself twitch. Sure, that was true, but still. It was just a little teasing here and there, with a few favors in between. Jeez.

"Miyuki…" Chris thought for a while. "He's a good guy, just a little bit twisted, is all."

Sawamura huffed unbelievingly. "So, am I supposed to be friends with him and not mind his sadistic attitude?"

Chris shook his head. "No, but we really have to find a way to make him stop."

"But how?" Sawamura made this weird face. Apparently, that's his thinking face. No wonder I don't see it often. "Bribery? Violence?"

"Telling the truth?" Chris interjected.

"Telling the truth?" Sawamura repeated. "But Miyuki already knows the truth."

Chris heaved a big sigh. "I meant to the others. So Miyuki won't have anything on us anymore."

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

There was a long pause.

"Well, I guess it's alright. Except they'll be teasing us. A lot." Sawamura winced at the thought. "A lot, a lot."

"Yeah, they'll never live it down." Chris chuckled. "Especially Tetsu and Tan…ba."

Sawamura noticed the way his voiced wavered at the end. "Is something wrong, senpai?"  
**  
**Chris shook his head and smiled. "Nah, I'm good."

Sawamura grinned, brushing off the anxiety he felt. "So we're really doing it?"

Chris smirked as he took a step forward, his voice barely audible and whispered, "We're going to do _a lot_ of it."

Okay, ew. It's my fault for straining my ears, but my god, I did not want to hear that.

"I have to go play shogi with the captain in a while though," Sawamura blushed as Chris leaned in forward and…

_Okay, _double ew. I guess it's time to leave.

Note to self: delete that mental image of Sawamura and Chris or I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

When I finally found my way in to Kawakami's room, it finally sunk in: Chris and Sawamura are going to confess.

"What happened to you?" Kawakami asked when he opened the door, only to find me laughing my ass off.

I grinned at him knowingly. "_Oh man, _I can almost taste the trouble that's about to ensue."

He quirked an eyebrow, but didn't bother to question me. Heh. I guess he's not one to pry. "Come in already, or you're going to get cold."

Three days later, Chris told the first-stringers to gather inside the bullpen after practice. Hm, I guess they're really doing it. That would explain Sawamura's anxious face during training.

"_Minna,_" Eijun started after everyone was settled in. "I—we—Chris and I have to tell you something?"

"Chris, what's this about?" The ace pitcher, Tanba, asked.

Sawamura cleared his throat. "I—we—Chris and I, we—well we're…" he stammered.

"We're together," Chris continued in a succinct tone.

A moment of silence until,

"Have you gone all the way?" Someone—Kuramochi—asked.

"Wha—of course not, baka-senpai!" Sawamura's cheeks flushed.

"How dare you call your senpai an idiot?!" Kuramochi tackled and pinned him to the ground. "Apologize!" he demanded, but Eijun shook his head stubbornly.

Everybody started laughing. Oh, I get it. Kuramochi said that to ease the tension. What a good senpai he is (even if Sawamura will never realize that).

A few minutes after that, I realized that everyone seemed to be enjoying teasing Chris and Eijun. I guess everyone had taken it pretty well, is what I thought.

While everyone was busy interrogating the couple on how far they've gone (ew, why would anyone want to know?), Tanba—who wasn't laughing like the rest—stood up and started walking away with a death glare on his face.

Everyone noticed this, but only Chris followed him outside.

After a minute, Sawamura followed too.

And after that, I went out to see what's going on.

Masuko tried to do the same, until I raised my hand, gesturing him to not follow. "Tell the rest to go to the cafeteria, or else coach will notice that we're gone." Masuko frowned but nodded anyways.

When I was assured that no one would follow up anymore, I started looking for Sawamura.

It took me a good minute, but I found Sawamura sitting on the ground, leaning on a wall that covers him from the two seniors who are currently in a verbal war. I cautiously neared him, careful not to make any sound, and then sat beside him.

"Why are you here?" Sawamura asked, glaring. I noticed how his voice strained. "Haven't you done enough?"

I realized he was about to cry, and for the first time since I've started blackmailing him, I actually felt the guilt eating me. "I'm sorry," I said honestly.

He seemed to believe me because he nodded. He closed his eyes, trying to hear the conversation between Tanba and Chris. I found myself doing the same.

"Why are you so mad?" I heard Chris asked, hurt and confusion evident in his voice. "Are you really that pissed about me being gay?"

"Why am I mad? Why am I _mad_?" Tanba said incredulously, the second time louder than the first. "Screw you, Chris," he spat. Although I couldn't see him, I felt my heart race at his tone I'd never heard before.

That triggered Eijun to almost enter the scene, until I stopped him. I shook my head, telling him to not butt in. He looked reluctant to follow, but he did so anyways. Eijun looked so worried, tears were brimming in his eyes. And, before I knew it, I found my hands intertwined with his. He didn't swat my hand away, so I took that as a good thing. I won't lie and say it wasn't the most uncomfortable and gayish feeling ever, but I felt like he needed it.

I am absolutely positively not gay. Make no mistake, this hand-holding does not contain any romantic value in it. At all.

This is completely, one hundred percent platonic.

There was a long pause, probably because Chris was also taken aback by Tanba's ability to curse well and effectively.

"Look," Chris said in barely a whisper. "I understand if you can't accept me being ga—"

Tanba laughed humorlessly. "I'm not mad at you because you're gay."

"Then what the fuck is your problem?!"

Just a thought, but do third years always cuss when fighting with each other?

"My problem?" I assume Chris nodded because Tanba continued anyways. "I'm in love with you, asshole. I have been in love with you since our first year."

I felt Eijun's body tense. Chris didn't reply.

"What the fuck, Chris. All these years, I've kept these feelings bottled up because I thought you'd hate me." Tanba let out a frustrated groan. "And then you just—with _Sawamura_? What the fuck."

"I didn't know!" Chris yelled. "Christ, _Tanba_, why didn't you tell me?!"

"Would you have even said it back if I told you I loved you?!"

"Yes!" Chris said immediately.

I quickly glanced at Eijun, but I couldn't read him. Obviously, he was hurt, but then he had this unreadable expression that I couldn't discern. I squeezed his hand, and then I kneeled in front of the wall, deciding that hearing was not enough, I wanted to see what was happening.

Tanba was in tears, while Chris—who was shocked by his own statement—was looking away guiltily.

"I don't know. _Maybe_." Chris added finally. "But Eijun's—"

Tanba silenced him by pulling him close and resting his forehead on his. Chris didn't pull away.

"I thought you were the smart one," Tanba said in a barely audible voice. "Don't you know that you—that I—" Tanba paused. "_Screw it_."

The pitcher smashed his lips on Chris', while the latter stood motionlessly.

"Miyuki," I heard Eijun say darkly. The tears from his eyes were gone, and instead were replaced with an unfathomable expression. He didn't have to look to know what they were doing. He knew. Eijun's usually obvious ways of expressing his emotions somehow didn't apply. He looked at me, eyes void with emotion, then tugged my hand and muttered, "Let's go."

**IIX. The One After Two Years**_  
__Sawamura Eijun_

"Oi, Miyuki-senpai! Long time no see," the tall brown-haired boy turned as I grinned. Miyuki looked at me without saying anything for a few seconds. Then, once my face registered into his brain, he winced. I frowned at his expression. "What? Do you not recognize me anymore or something?"

Well, it wouldn't really be that surprising if Miyuki did. People can change a lot in a span of a year. I almost didn't recognize him, if not for his trademark glasses and smug face. His hair was different; same shade, but now it was neatly trimmed and gelled to the side. His body got bigger too, probably from all the training in the Minors.

It wouldn't be surprising, but I won't lie if I said I wouldn't be disappointed.

"Of course I do, Ei-chan." His lips formed into a knowing smile that I reciprocated. "I'm just not used to you calling me senpai. It's weird. You only started calling me that a few weeks before I graduated, so I'm still not used to it." I nodded. "You wanna get coffee with me?"

"Meh," was my intelligent response. He took that as a yes and started walking, expecting me to follow. "So, no senpai then?"

"I dunno," Miyuki shrugged, thinking. Then, he started laughing out of nowhere. That stupid mocking laugh. "I'll always remember, your face when you first started calling me out with respect."

I groaned. "Shut up! You, you were graduating. And I, I just—I," I stopped walking, too embarrassed to continue.

Miyuki quirked an eyebrow. "You just?"

I felt my cheeks burn with what I was about to say. "I just wanted a little more time."

Cue the awkward silence.

Miyuki Kazuya's final year as the captain and starting catcher for the prestigious Seido was one hell of the ride. We reached Koshien for the first time, and it was awesome. He was awesome. And even though we were beaten in the quarterfinals, it was still fulfilling. Because we made history.

So no surprise there, when my second year self got greedy and wished he'd stay for another year to exalt our revenge and nab the gold. But I knew he wouldn't. So, I got really sad. Stupid me, getting all sad over Miyuki. But anyways, I stopped my wishful thinking and just decided that I wanted to show him my appreciation before he left. I knew that I wasn't the most respectful kouhai to him, so, I did what I thought was, you know, sentimental. I called him Miyuki-senpai.

Heh.

Miyuki settled the awkward silence with a laugh and started walking again. "I'm glad I did something right, for you to say something like that to someone like me."

"Yeah, but you were still an awful senpai for the most part," I said. Miyuki put his hand on his chest and put on fake hurt expression. Then I added, "Miyuki-senpai."

He rolled his eyes at me. "So, I know you still have the summer tournament to worry about, but have you thought of what you're going to do after high school?"

"Actually, I've been thinking—"

"Well, that's a surprise..."

"Shh," I glared. "I've been thinking about going pro instead of going to college. Like you." I paused to look at his expression, half-expecting him to say I'm not ready. But he didn't, instead he looked at me expectantly. "I want to try out in Hanshu Tigers, where you and Narumiya-san are. Or maybe join the Yushisaki Giants, I heard that's the team that Kuramochi-senpai and that Sanada pitcher joined. But I'm still gonna talk to Harucchi and Furuya."

"Really?" Miyuki said, sounding surprised. "Well, I think you're good enough to make it, but I'd have thought you'd play somewhere closer to home. You live in Nagano, right?"

"Mhmm." I tried to say dismissively, trying not to make him go to that topic.

But he did, anyways. "Why not try out for the Dragons?"

"If I said I missed you and Kuramochi-senpai, would you believe me?" Miyuki stared at me then shook his head. I rolled my eyes. "You already know why," I said in a hesitant whisper.

"It's been two years, Eijun."

"Yeah, well, I'm still not over it," I said honestly. "I'm still not over him."

It took a few seconds for Miyuki to reply.

"Alright," he said with a tight smile, a hint of guilt found on his face.

How many times do I have to remind him? "It's not your fault."

He nodded hesitantly. We found ourselves at the doorstep of the cafe. "I'm not saying you shouldn't be in our team, because we'll gladly accept you, if you do try out," Miyuki paused, opening the door. "But I think you should reconsider joining the Dra—you know what? Let's go eat ramen instead, I'm craving."

I blinked. "But we're already here in the cafe..."

"But I'm really, really craving for ramen right now," Miyuki said, voice lacing with panic. "So, let's go?"

I didn't even get a chance to answer him because Miyuki was already shoving me out the door. I wondered what made him act that way, because obviously there had to be a reason why he suddenly didn't want us to stay here. So I looked back and surveyed the cafe.

And then I understood.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw _him_.

I felt a tornado of emotions enter my body, because for a second—a split second—I swore our eyes met, and that he knew I was there. But before anything could be confirmed, he carried on like it wasn't a big deal, like he didn't know.

So I found myself doing the same.

I didn't tell Miyuki that I saw him, or that he probably saw me too, or that if he did he just ignored me. I refused to tell him, because if I did, our whole bonding session would have centered on him. And I didn't want that. So, I didn't show any signs of being distraught, or angry, or sad; in fact, I still went out with him and had a good time.

Although, once I got back to the dorm, I went straight to my bed, ignored all my kouhais' worried glances, and silently cried myself to sleep.

**IX. The One That Got Away**  
_Takigawa Chris_

"_I—I can't do this, senpai," I heard him say, his voice cracking near the end. "I just—I can't. I'm sorry_."

_I wanted to stop him, to say what he's been waiting for, but before I knew it he was gone._

"CHRISSY!" My eyes shot wide open as I felt an overwhelming weight on my body. Once I saw the blonde streaks of hair, I groaned in displeasure.

"Go away, Daichi."

He frowned at me. "You look like you were about to get eaten."

I blinked; my eyes still haven't adjusted to the light. "What?"

"While you were asleep," he explained. "You looked so troubled that I just had to wake you up."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Daichi Smith is my roommate/teammate; a half-American import who decided to play here because he's an avid supporter of Japanese baseball. He's an acrobatic shortstop who can pull off a lot of seemingly impossible plays. Though he's a Casanova with the girls, with the guys he's just, well, a big baby.

"Can you get off me now?" I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.

"Oh. Right." He grinned innocently. He put his hands on my chest and, knowing that I could take his weight, he pushed himself off me. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"Training starts at 9 today, but we have to get there at least half an hour beforehand, said coach."

"Why?"

"New recruits, remember?" Daichi let out a low mischievous laugh. "Can't wait to torture them." Oh yeah, he's kind of a sadist too. Well, at least, he'd like to think so. But he's only done the usual teasing and occasional lighthearted pranks.

I rolled my eyes at him. "We should eat breakfast now."

And so we did. I don't know what it is about today, but I felt sort of apprehensive. Something was so off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was the dream I had. It was a long distant memory from high school that I had thought I'd have already forgotten (but I guess I haven't). Maybe it served as some kind of premonition. Maybe, since today is the day we get recruits, he'll… Yeah, right.

I convinced myself that worrying won't do me any good, so I proceeded with my morning as planned. We met the recruits during morning practice, and suffice to say, none of them were him. So I felt myself be more at ease each passing minute. Once training ended, I felt all my apprehension vanish. I was able to eat my lunch in peace. Or so I thought.

"Hey Chris, are you okay now?" Someone from behind, who I recognized as my teammate and senpai Sakisaki Kou, asked. "Yeah," I said nonchalantly, taking a bite from my fish.

"Why?"

"Well, you looked like you were ready to bite someone's head off this morning." Oh, that's why everybody except Daichi was keeping their distance from me. "Are you trying to scare off the rookies or something?"

I shook my head. "Nah, just had a bad morning is all."

Kou nodded and sat next to me. He had a burger which he unwrapped before speaking again. "Did you hear? Two of the newbies who were recruited right after high school came late for morning practice."

"Yeah?" I asked with half-hearted interest.

"I heard they're friends from different high schools." I still didn't care. "What were their names again? Todoki Raichi and Sawamura Eiji?" I dropped my spoon and fork.

"Todo_ro_ki Raichi and Sawamura Ei_jun_?" I corrected.

"Yeah!" He smiled at the recollection. "From Yakushi and Sei—oh yeah, was he was your kouhai?"

Damn. Life really knew how to kick me in the face sometimes.

And so, during afternoon practice, I prepped myself enough not to look shocked when we made eye-to-eye contact during his introduction. "Sawamura Eijun from Seido! Please take care of me!"

My eyes easily bore onto his until he looked away and I was able to assess him. Eijun's voice became lower. He still had his lean frame, but he was almost as tall as me. His arms got bigger, and his facial features became more mature. But he was still the same; same brown hair that would hang over his eyes and same easygoing smile he would share to everyone.

"Todoroki Raichi from Yakushi!" I remember him from our game three years ago. Expert batter ever since, so who knows how much better he's gotten. We'll definitely be able to make use of him.

Once introductions were over, we went back to training. Our paths have crossed multiple times but we never once spoken to each other.

I was in one of the batting cages when Daichi called out to me. "Isn't that pitcher your kouhai from Seido?"

"Yeah," I said noncommittally as I hit another fastball straight down the middle.

"So why haven't you minded each other?"

"We're training, Daichi," I said, another ball coming at me. "Go back to training."

"Okay, okay." Daichi pouted playfully but did as was told.

The training ended peacefully, with not so much as a word of greeting exchanged. I didn't like going to the shower room right after practice because I knew it would be jam packed with dirty athletes, so I made it a habit to go there just right before dinner.

As expected, it was empty. Everybody was still eating. I stripped off my clothes and went in to the shower. I used this time to gather my thoughts. He's here were the first to words that came to my head. I only vaguely remember what happened in high school because by the time I left I told myself I hated my time in Seido. I'm pretty sure I had lots and lots of good times, but all that was outweighed by all the bad things that happened. The injury that cost me almost a year and a half of rehab, my now estranged ex-best friend, and of course, him. He hates me, for sure. Before I can add anymore negative thoughts into my head, I turned the knob to stop the running water and got out of the shower.

"Mother of god," I heard someone shriek. I turned and saw none other than Sawamura Eijun. "Why're you always naked when I see you?"

"I thought everybody else would still be eating," I shrugged. Nudity was never a problem for me.

"Then put on a towel man," he said as he covered his eyes, clearly disturbed.

I noticed how he didn't call me senpai anymore and my lips stretched into a frown, but I still didn't say anything. A wave of awkward silence followed.

I went to the sink and prepared to brush my teeth until I heard Eijun clear his throat. "Um, I uh—Chris," he cleared his throat again and tried again, "Chris-senpai." I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, prompting him to speak. "I, uh, it's good to see you again."

When I replied, "You too," I heard Eijun weave a small sigh of relief. "I heard you reached Koshien in your final year."

A familiar bright smile appeared. "Yeah, but Haruichi and Kanemaru got injured so it was a hard struggle in quarterfinals, but we pulled through. In the semis, though… we lost."

And before I could stop myself, I put my hand on his head and shuffled his hair. "You did well."

A flicker of something passed over his expression. "Thank you."

It went silent again but the atmosphere wasn't as tense as it was before. I brushed my teeth, put on a fresh set of clothes and got ready to leave. On my way to the door, I waved my hand dismissively and said, "Bye, Eij—"

"Chris-senpai," Eijun interrupted. His voice was low and serious. I looked back and saw his eyes dart at me firmly. I thought he was mad, until he spoke with a soft mutter. "I missed you."

What. The. Hell.

I felt anger well up inside me as I spoke with restraint. "Don't."

He continued defiantly. "I haven't seen you in three years."

"Eijun, don't."

"Don't what?"

I glared at him. "Don't say you miss me."

He raised his eyebrows as if to challenge me, but still spoke with hesitance. "Why not?"

"You were the one who broke up with me, remember?" I seethed as the memory reappeared in my brain.

"_You have feelings for Tanba-senpai," Eijun said, hurt and confusion evident in his voice. _

"_I don't," I replied hurriedly. "Eijun—" _

"_I heard you guys talking." My eyes widened. "I heard what he said, I heard what you said. I heard everything. So please don't lie to me." _

"_Eijun," I half-expected him to interrupt me again but he didn't. "I'm not sure if I have feelings for him—no wait; listen to me first, okay? I'm not sure if I have feelings for him. He's been my best friend since first year and hearing him confess to me, I couldn't think straight. But what I do know, for sure, is that I have feelings for you. Please believe me."_

_But he didn't. "You said yes," Eijun said. "Without hesitation, you said yes." _

"_Said yes to what?" I asked, helplessness lacing my voice. Then I figured out what he meant. "Eijun…" _

"_He asked you if you would've said it back if he told you he loved you." His voice was already barely audible. "Without hesitation, you said yes." _

_Tears started to stream down his face, and I couldn't utter a single word. "I—I can't do this, senpai," I heard him say, his voice cracking near the end. "I just—I can't. I'm sorry." _

_I wanted to stop him, to say what he's been waiting for, but before I knew it he was gone._

"You were the one who didn't do anything about it, _remember_?" Eijun replied defiantly. We had a stare-off that lasted a minute until Eijun sighed in defeat. "Look, I'm sorry for saying that. It was a mistake. I acted on impulse, I'm sorry. Let's forget about it."

"What the hell?" I said. I should feel relief that he told me to forget, but if anything I felt angrier. "You broke up with me, and I have to do something about it?"

The will to fight came back to him. "Is that your only argument? That I broke up with you?"

"It's the only one that I need."

"What the fuck?" I nearly flinched; it was the first time I heard Eijun curse. "Who was the one who confessed? The one who convinced you that you graduating didn't matter? Wasn't it me? I did those, and what did you do, huh? I had one moment of doubt. _One_. And you let me go."

I wanted to speak, but no words left my mouth. So before I knew it, he was gone. Again.

* * *

_"I had one moment of doubt. One. And you let me go."_

He's right. He's right. Sawamura-fricking-Eijun is right. Everything that happened—everything wrong that happened… they were all my fault. All the resentment I felt was misdirected at him, but in truth it was me who ended it, not Eijun. I didn't fight for him, because I thought that since I was gra— Damn it, Chris, you're such an idiot.

"CHRISSY!" The same overwhelming weight I felt yesterday crashed down on me again.

"Get off of me, Daichi. I'm not in the mood."

He seemed to have sensed my ominous aura. "What's wrong, Chrissy?"

I had originally planned to just ignore him and wallow in self-loathing the whole day. But I figured that it was very unproductive and a complete waste of time, so I did something I never thought I would ever do. I told Daichi everything—and I mean everything—that happened between me and Eijun. And by the end of it, Daichi said, "Damn… You're gay."

"Um, yeah…" Is that all he had taken in from what I said?

Daichi cleared his throat. "Sorry, uh, what happened to that Tanba guy?"

"We didn't—I couldn't," I replied, and then I realized it wasn't the answer he was looking for. "He's playing college baseball right now. We text from time to time just to check up on each other, but that's it."

"Ah…" Daichi rubbed his chin, seemingly assessing the situation. "Can I say something without you getting all defensive on me?"

"Shoot."

"I think you're still in love with him," Daichi said. I quirked an eyebrow. "Well, not in love, per se, but you still have feelings for him. Definitely."

"What makes you say that?"

"Come on, Chris. You're smarter than this." Yes, I could say that I am a good strategist, but that comes along with being a catcher. I don't know why everybody keeps thinking that I know everything, when I don't.

I don't know much about love, or what I'm supposed to do when it comes to situations like this. Everybody expects me to just know, but sometimes I need explanations too. "Enlighten me."

"I go out with girls a lot. Don't snort at me, _listen_—I go out with girls a lot because I don't feel the feelings you do. Chris, I can't even stay hung up on a girl for three weeks, but you… three years man. You're different. If that rookie can mess you up like that after one day, it's clear that you love him. If you're not, then I don't know man." He clapped his hands on his thighs and stood up. "Go to him."

And even if I was convinced that doing it would amount to nothing, I found myself nod and do it anyways.

I paced around his doorway, unsure of what to do. But after what I estimate to be fifteen minutes, the door opened.

"What are you doing?" Eijun asked, leaning against the doorframe, his voice icy. "You've been walking around here for more than ten minutes."

I paused to regain composure and replied. "I wanted to talk to you."

His dark brown eyes found mine as he tried to discern the situation. Without speaking, he detached himself from the doorframe and gestured me in.

"You can sit over there," Eijun said, pointing on the chair as he sat on the bed adjacent to it.

I did as I was told, but for a full minute, neither of us talked.

"What do you want?" Eijun finally asked. "I think you've made it clear that it's not me, so…"

"I didn't mean that way," I replied hurriedly. I breathed in, locking his eyes into mine. After another moment of silence, I started again. "You—why are you here?"

He laughed humorlessly. "Of course you'd asked that." I raised my eyebrows at him. "If you thought I came here for you, then you're wrong."

"Then why?"

"Well, if you must know, my home town is just a couple miles away," he said. "I really wasn't going to go here, you know? I wanted to play with Miyuki and Kuramochi." I restrained myself from cringing. "But my grandfather died half a year ago, so I decided to stay close to home, so I could support my parents."

I remember his grandfather. He was just like Eijun: loudmouthed and is easily carried away by emotion. Eijun would always make snarky remarks about him too, but I knew that he looked up to him nonetheless.

"I'm sorry," I said honestly. "I—"

"Don't sweat it," Eijun replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Is that all you wanted to ask?"

"No," I said. "About yesterday—"

"Let's just forget about it." Eijun stood up, and started putting his attention and focus on a jar he picked up on the counter. "I think enough's been said."

"I disagree." I stood up too, and slowly walked towards him. He was too focused on the jar—which I realize was strawberry jam—that he didn't realize that I was right behind him. "I don't think I've said enough."

"Well—_mph!_" He turned around, and before I could stop myself, I kissed him. Hard. I felt him trying to pull away, and hell, I wanted to pull away too. But having to feel this familiar figure wrapped around my arms, to smell his scent that would used to drive me crazy, and to see the eyes that I haven't seen for years…

And with that, I've finally reached a conclusion.

I pushed myself away from him and put a little distance between us. "I missed you too."

He brushed his thumb across his lip, looking a little bit dazed. "But—"

"_Shh,_" I said, putting my hand over his mouth. "I need you to listen to me, okay? I've sort of prepared this little speech for you when you saw me pacing around your doorstep."

He was hesitant at first, but then he nodded anyways.

"First of all, I'm sorry that I was too worried about graduating that I almost broke up with you. That was stupid."

He nodded.

"And I'm sorry that I didn't fight for you when all you needed was assurance."

He nodded again.

"I'm sorry about me, about Tanba, about everything."

I took a small intake of breath before speaking again.

"But most of all, I'm so sorry for not saying how much I love you when I knew for a fact that I did."

Somehow, he managed to get my hand off his mouth. "Well, technic—"

"It was so stupid, right? Being unable to say I love you?" Remembering it made me want to slap myself.

"Well…"

I thought I saw amusement in his eyes, but I was too caught up in the moment. I was still annoyed at myself for what I did. "I love you, I love you, I love you—it wasn't that hard to say, right?"

"Chris."

"What the fuck was wrong with me?" I asked rhetorically, exasperated with me and my thoughts. "I couldn't even tell you that."

"Well, you just did."

I blinked. "What?"

"You just told me you love me… like five times."

And the realization hit me like a truck.

"Hey," he called out with an obviously amused voice. "Are you okay?"

"No," I complained. "I think I need an aspirin."

Eijun laughed. "Déjà vu, huh?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Shut up."

He grinned at me cheekily. "For what it's worth, it's not _completely _your fault."

"Thanks," I rolled my eyes at him. And before it even registered in my brain, I asked, "So… will you be my boyfriend again?"

His eyes widened with humor. "Woah, easy now. It's only been a day."

Oh, right, _fuck, _it's only been a day. Stupid question to ask.

I covered my face with my hands. "Right. Sorry."

"But hey," Eijun said, calling my attention. I looked up at him smiling. "We'll get there."

"We'll get there?"

Eijun chuckled. "We'll get there."

I paused for a moment, analyzing what he said, and then smiled back at him. "Okay then. As long as we get there."

* * *

**A/N: **Hello valued reader and guest,

Thank you for reading this extraordinarily long and cheesy one-shot. And reading this author's note. I'm considering making this a two-shot is because I'm sort of writing an epilogue for this (but it's in hiatus right now because of the tremendous amount of schoolwork I need to do for my slave-driving teachers). So I guess, for now, this story will be marked as complete.

All your questions, violent reactions, and constructive criticism, please tell me! (preferably in a review hehe)

Much love,

**geekinthepink23**

* * *

P.S: since I am an awful reviewer, I've decided to make all the wonderful authors of the stories I've read be given a shout-out here instead! Please take a look at their story/ies:

1.) Lex Complex (Some Things Just Make Sense, Suddenly Bats and Balls Mean Something Else, I'm Glad We Didn't Listen, etc.)

2.) amethyst-ice22 (Fair Game, Just for a Moment, A Prodigy of Sorts)

3.) rineren (The First of Many, Broken, Admit It, etc.)

4.) The Ink Hidden Within (It's Okay)

They're all awesome, I tell you. So yeah, gooo!


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